Archive for the ‘Appearance’ Category

It all started when . . .

Posted: June 7, 2011 in Appearance

It was a hot summer day, and I was standing in the kitchen making myself a peanut butter and jelly sandwich. I was 16 years old, an avid cyclist and an athlete. I was wearing a pair of denim shorts that I had cut off from last year’s jeans, and they were frayed at the edges and SHORT. I mean really short.

I weighed about 120 pounds at the time, long blonde hair and had a beautiful golden tan.  My father walked into the room from behind me and made a comment about my shorts which I don’t clearly remember, but at the end of his rant and the consistent rolling of my eyes that he couldn’t see, he said, “they don’t even look good on you.”

I was crushed. But, little did I know at the time that I would carry that stabbing comment as a story in my head for the rest of my life….the story that said I was not attractive in shorts.

My father was wrong, not just because I was smokin’ in those shorts, but also because he evidently didn’t have a clue how to constructively and effectively get a 16 year old girls attention and help her understand how to protect herself. I’m certain now that was his intention. To protect me.

Nonetheless, I have carried that story with me my whole life. And even tho at the time I was a hottie, I subconsciously believed I wasn’t and over time began to gain weight, essentially making his statement come true. What a cycle.

The moral of this story isn’t about the power of words, although much could be said about that. It’s also not about establishing blame for any of my weaknesses or flaws as an adult.  No. It’s about taking responsibility. Until I hit the delete button and hold it down to erase the negative stories stored there, my behavior and choices will continue to reflect his words. That’s not his fault, it’s mine! But, it doesn’t have to be that way.

What are the stories in your head?  What do you say to yourself when you get up in the morning? What tapes are running all the time in the background of your mind, influencing your behavior and choices without your conscious permission?

This blog is all about building positive stories …. taking out the old, bringing in the new and celebrating it all together! I’ll share the things I’ve learned along the way on my own journey, some tips on undoing (or many times embracing!) your own stories and offer tools to help others know their own value and worth.

I’m so glad you’re here. Welcome!